The Gorgon Bride
Author: Galen Surlak-Ramsey
SummaryTHE GODS ARE FUNNY. Except when you piss them off. Then they suck. They really, really suck. (Really). Alexander Weiss discovers this tidbit when he inadvertently insults Athena, Goddess of Wisdom, and she casts him away on a forgotten isle filled with statues. Being marooned is bad enough, but the fact that the island is also the home of Euryale, elder sister to Medusa, makes the situation a touch worse. The only thing keeping Alex from being petrified is the fact that Euryale has taken a liking to the blundering mortal. For now. What follows next is a wild, adventurous tale filled with heroes, gods, monsters, love, and war that is nothing short of legendary.
At 9:03 a.m., on a cold Tuesday morning, Alex would get his fifteen minutes of fame. In truth, his share would be closer to one minute; the orca would garner the other fourteen.
Alex’s neighborhood of exquisite prairie homes and Jaguar drivers was a whale-free zone. It always had been, and everyone expected it always would be. Thus, when Alex sat down at his Steinway grand piano to practice Chopin’s first ballade at 8:30, he considered the day to be routine. But when his doorbell rang a minute before nine, things changed.
Alex muttered a few curses and took to his feet. He opened the front door and felt a twinge to burn the heretic who had interrupted his worship service. Chopin, as far as Alex was concerned, was a god.
At the foot of his doorstep jogged a man of impeccable physique who had his index and middle fingers pressed into his neck. Before Alex could raise a hand to shield his eyes from an unusually bright sun, the man thrust a fancy looking clipboard into his chest. “Delivery for Alexander Weiss,” the man said. “Sign here.”
Alex hesitated. He took the board and examined the man. He wore a nondescript white uniform, sneakers, and ball cap that screamed athletic commercial. “Who exactly are you with?” Alex asked.
“With?” A puzzled look crossed the deliveryman’s face, as if the question had never been posed to him before.
“Yes, with. Who do you work for?” Alex looked at the man’s running shoes. The emblem on the sides looked vaguely familiar. “Nike?”
“Gods, no.” The man rolled his eyes. “I hate doing jobs for Nike. Always going on about triumphing over adversity. Thankfully, Olympus doesn’t have me at Nike’s beck and call.”
“Olympus, huh? Startup company?”
The man grinned. It was mischievous and the type of grin a child might give after thieving a cookie or two. “No, we’ve been around for a while.”
“Funny, never heard of you.”
“We’re from overseas. Closed shop for a bit.” The deliveryman peered around Alex. “Say, you’ve got a lot of nice stuff inside.”
Alex glanced over his shoulder. “Thanks.”
“Again, thank you.”
“Nicest on the block, by far. Care to part with any of it?”
“No, I’m afraid not.”
The smile on the man’s face grew. “Your neighbor said the same thing about her cookies. But I must say they are delicious. You should help yourself to some.”
“Mrs. Nemur gave you a homemade cookie?”
“Well, gave is such a strong word,” he said with a wink.
This book is so clever and fun in this wry way. You can’t help but feel kind of bad for poor Alexander Weiss… Athena drops a whale on his head and it just kind of gets worse from there for him. Then again, he’s kind of an arrogant ass so there’s a little bit of thinking he gets what’s coming to him. I love the relationships between the Olympians, especially the rivalry between Athena and Ares. And OMG Kharon, LOL!
Alex got on my nerves some, and I’d have loved to seen more of Euryale. This was a fun, light read as long as you’re not looking for it to be more than it is. I think fans of Douglas Adams’ Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, Neil Gaiman’s American Gods, and Terry Pratchett’s Discworld books (especially Death in the Discworld books…) will be big fans of The Gorgon Bride by Galen Surlak-Ramsey. If any of those authors/series are your jam, or if you love lighthearted comedic romps featuring a cast of characters from Greek mythology, definitely check this one out!
Galen Surlak-Ramsey will be awarding a $10 Amazon/BN GC to a randomly drawn winner via rafflecopter during the tour. Check out the rafflecopter for how to win, and make sure to comment and visit the other stops on the tour to increase your chances of winning!
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When not writing, Galen Surlak-Ramsey has been known to throw himself out of an airplane, teach others how to throw themselves out of an airplane, take pictures of the deep space, and wrangle his four children somewhere in Southwest Florida.
He also manages to pay the bills as a chaplain for a local hospice.
Drop by his website https://galensurlak.com/ to see what other books he has out, what’s coming soon, check out the newsletter (well, sign up for the newsletter and get access to awesome goodies, contests, exclusive content, etc.)